A few weeks ago, Angela and I traveled to California as a part of our ongoing research for Springtide related to how young people thrive in religious organizations. The week before, our site contact informed us that the young person we would be interviewing while we were there identified as nonbinary and preferred they/them pronouns. It suddenly became important to our work that our team not only had a functional understanding of gender identity and pronouns but also used that knowledge to affirm and support the gender of our student. Misgendering the student would have jeopardized our ability to build the rapport and safety that makes good research possible. After our visit, we heard from the organizational leaders how much it meant to them that we approached their student’s gender identity with so much care and intentionality. 

Springtide’s 2022 annual report, Mental Health & Gen Z: What Educators Need to Know, says, “The use of a person’s name or correct pronoun triggers an immediate connection. It demonstrates a commitment to their participation in the classroom or school; it builds on noticing and makes a young person feel a deeper sense of being connected” (34). Working at Springtide, I regularly encounter opportunities to affirm and support young people’s gender and sexual identities. As a researcher, I often talk with youth in private settings where they can be more honest with me than with other adults in their lives. It is not uncommon for members of our research team to support a young person coming out as LGBTQ+ for the first time in an interview.  

One member of our research team, Nabil, shared with me that a young person told her in an interview that he uses they/them and he/him pronouns, but because of his gender presentation as more feminine, very few people refer to him with he/him pronouns. As a result, Nabil chose to refer to him with he/him pronouns even when he was not present to affirm his gender identity. Even if he was not present to hear it, Nabil showed him tremendous love, care, and respect by treating him how he wanted to be treated. This is what it means to love and support young people in our work. 

When Pride month rolls around, it can be tempting to roll our eyes and think, “Yes, we know, LGBTQ+ people exist. But this issue has nothing to do with me.” However, this isn’t the case. Whenever we talk about young people, 28% of whom identify as LGBTQ+ , we are talking about a group of young people who are more diverse in their sexual orientations and gender identities than any other generation in the history of the United States. When talking to young people and the adults who care for them, our ability to understand and articulate how gender identity and sexual orientation impact the lives of young people will only become increasingly more important.  

Part of conducting ethical research means building relationships with participants that allow them to feel safe sharing how they experience the world around them. When we study young people, this power dynamic is especially present and has to be navigated carefully. Affirming the gender and sexual identities of young people is one way to give them agency and safety in the researcher-participant relationship, enabling them to share freely. The ethical imperative of minimizing harm in research includes creating a safe, affirming environment for young people participating in our research studies.  

While not everyone interacts directly with young people in their work, educating the adults who support young people is also incredibly vital for the well-being of LGBTQ+ youth. According to The Trevor Project’s 2024 study, LGBTQ+ young people who reported living in very accepting communities attempted suicide at less than half the rate of those who reported living in very unaccepting communities. Affirming and supportive adults can give young people the love they need to continue living. 

Listening to young people means taking their beliefs, feelings, and values seriously. For many young people, those feelings and beliefs are informed by their gender and sexual identities. Honoring those identities is the first step in making sure they feel heard and valued. If we as adults can truly honor the experiences and perspectives of young people, we will have so many more opportunities to become students of what young people have to teach us.